Too Much Edgy

Friday night. At home. Nothing to do. You flip through the channels on the television, hoping to find something that will at least pass the time. Well, I hit paydirt this past friday. It was the Miss USA pageant, live from Baltimore, Maryland. Hosted by Nancy O'Dell and the hottest Lachey left, Drew.

Miss USA is kind of the less attractive, less intelligent version of the Miss America pageant. This one is owned by one Donald Trump. So you know it's extra classy. Having missed the very beginning of the pageant, we had to pick it up during the swimsuit portion of the show. In Miss USA, all the ladies wear the same bikini. Gold, with sparkles. More noticeable, is their apparent leniency towards going under the knife. There were most definitely some surgically enhanced breasts there, and most likely some noses too.

And, let's not forget the celebrity judges. This crop was impressive to say the least. Hines Ward of the Superbowl champ Steelers, Jillian Barberie, Olympic champ Chad Hedrick and of course, Donald Trump Jr. They were the ones who got to ask the hard hitting, all important final question of the 5 finalists, Kentucky, California, Ohio, Florida, and Georgia. Miss California and Miss Ohio actually did a fine job. But the other three, oh dear lord.

First was Georgia, who informed Hines Ward that what men could learn from women was that they are "strong" because she wore high heels everyday for 3 weeks straight. Miss Florida informed us that society is too PC in the "Department of Religion" and basically managed to befuddle the Donald Jr. And, our winner, Miss Kentucky. Well, she is responsible for the title of this post. She was asked about pop stars and whether they were role models. She said that they were mostly, "Too much edgy" for young girls to look up to. And, thus, cemented her place at the head of the pack. She lists her ability to communicate with anyone as her strongest asset. I hope the ability to notice irony will soon replace that one. But, maybe I am being mean to our Miss Kentucky. To be fair, she did have a nice rack, and I'm sure all that money and make up will come in handy with her future plans of being really pretty and not very smart.

Oh, did I mention that she likes to scrapbook?

Angry Inky's Day Off

Last week, I played hooky from work. I don't often do this, usually if I'm taking off work, clearly it's for a live music performance. But, I woke up that morning and thought "How can I possibly be expected to face work on a day like this." And, what better way to honor the 20th (can you fucking believe that?) anniversary of the classic Ferris Bueller's Day Off then with a day off of my own. After calling in with some lame-ass excuse, I was free. So, of course the first thing I did was go back to bed for like 3 more hours. Then, I got up and got to spend the day with my hubby, went for a drive, had lunch, dodged the afore-mentioned religious tactical team, and basically just had a great, fun day while the others toiled and scraped.

There is a lot to be said for the mental health day, and especially now that the weather is great, I encourage you all to do the same. Go ahead, steal the 1961 Ferrari 250 GT California, go to the city, have lunch at the "snooty. . .snotty" restaurant, and then race home so you don't get busted. Whatever you choose, enjoy it. Remember, life is short, but work is long.

SAVE FERRIS!!

Baby, Baby, It's a Wild World

I couldn't resist doing a post to welcome little Cameron into the world. Jesse and Hayley, Congratulations. He is adorable!
You're going to make me catch the baby rabies.

He Has Risen!

For the last several days, we've had stalkers in our neighborhood. We have tried hiding from them, we have tried outrunning them, but they seem to find us anyway. You know them, you've seen them. The door-to-door religion salesmen that come to everyone's home eventually. For whatever reason, be it the weather or the season, they are out in force around our house. We have literally ran to our car, in an effort to get out of town before they could shove their literature into our hands. We have returned home only to be confronted with them, knocking on the door of an unsuspecting neighbor, turning as soon as they hear our car doors close.

I'm not sure I really understand what these people are hoping to accomplish. Like coming to me during my leisure hours will convince me to convert to your way of thinking. Or that I just haven't heard about Jesus yet, and maybe if you give me a pithy pamphlet, I'll finally know what all the fuss has been about all these years. Whatever the motivation, let me assure you that no matter what may happen to me, I'm not going to come to a religious epiphany with you on my doorstep, or because you tell me to. It is just not how I operate.

But, thank you, dear proselytizer. Without your appearance, I wouldn't get much needed laughs thinking of ways to make you uncomfortable. So, cheers. And, hey, by the way. . .would you be interested in learning all about Satan?

Geek Squad Must Die!!

We've been having some computer woes. We thought that getting some new virus and spyware stuff would fix it. But, it didn't. We saw a commercial for those Geek Squad guys at Best Buy, and we thought it was something we should look into, as we were coming to the end of our ropes. We took it down, they said they could install the new hooey and that everything else looked fine. Turns out not so much. We were told by them that something else was wrong and they wanted $59 and A WEEK to find it. Not even to fix it, just to find it. So, we told them no thanks and went down to pick it up. At this point, I was very angry and stressed out. So, when we go down to get it, the Geek starts getting our stuff together. Then, he tells us we have to buy the software anyway, even though he couldn't install it, because they opened the package. I was so pissed off I could barely see straight. Then, the guy says, "You seem a little stressed, is there something I can do for you?" In this really snotty voice. I almost jumped over the counter and beat this little snot-nosed punk to death. But, cooler heads (my husbands) prevailed. When I tell him they coulddn't help me, obviously, he said, "Well, we offered to run the diagonstic but you said no" I was ready to beat him again. Who the hell is this guy to patronize me when not only am I having to pay for shit I can't use, but then he can't even fix the damn thing. So, he is lucky to still be alive right now.

SO, to all my readers and anyone else out there. DON'T TAKE YOUR COMPUTERS TO THE GEEK SQUAD AT BEST BUY!!! They are clueless, mean and overpriced. Luckily, our friend Jon, has a brother-in-law who can fix computers. It took him one hour and he didn't even need to do that much to it. So, Ricky, you are the man. Geek Squad, you best recognize that when you can't even figure out what is going on with a computer, you best not talk shit!!

Can We All Agree?

Can we all agree that:

*Air marshals who are meant to protect us and America should not be taking bribes and smuggling blow.

*People who work for Homeland Security should not be soliciting sex online from someone he thinks is 14.

*Now apparently singing along with a classic Clash tune is grounds for arrest. If this is where we are in the war on terror, we are all screwed.

*I know more than a few people who should look into this unusual online auction item.


Sometimes the world of the news is more strange than the soaps. Tonight is Dinosaur Jr. Can't wait. Will have more to say about that later.

For the Last Time

I had to wear the Puffy Paint shirt for the last time today. Thank God.