For the last several days, we've had stalkers in our neighborhood. We have tried hiding from them, we have tried outrunning them, but they seem to find us anyway. You know them, you've seen them. The door-to-door religion salesmen that come to everyone's home eventually. For whatever reason, be it the weather or the season, they are out in force around our house. We have literally ran to our car, in an effort to get out of town before they could shove their literature into our hands. We have returned home only to be confronted with them, knocking on the door of an unsuspecting neighbor, turning as soon as they hear our car doors close.
I'm not sure I really understand what these people are hoping to accomplish. Like coming to me during my leisure hours will convince me to convert to your way of thinking. Or that I just haven't heard about Jesus yet, and maybe if you give me a pithy pamphlet, I'll finally know what all the fuss has been about all these years. Whatever the motivation, let me assure you that no matter what may happen to me, I'm not going to come to a religious epiphany with you on my doorstep, or because you tell me to. It is just not how I operate.
But, thank you, dear proselytizer. Without your appearance, I wouldn't get much needed laughs thinking of ways to make you uncomfortable. So, cheers. And, hey, by the way. . .would you be interested in learning all about Satan?
2 comments:
They're probably just working, I'm sure they aren't deeply involved in it. I used to do telephone interviewing and I didn't care about what I was saying, but it paid good. They're people like you, working and trying to make a living, not stalkers. Get off your high horse and give them a break.
You're religious pamphlet stalkers need to take a page out of the book from the ones who canvased our neighborhood. They didn't ring any doorbells and as far as I know they didn't talk to anyone they just hung their literature on my door and off they went.
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