Thursday, October 23, 2008

Cinder-Fucking-Rella


Much has been made of Sarah Palin's recent shopping spree in the area of $150,000. I've heard many excuses as to why she needed the clothes and why it really isn't a big deal. I couldn't agree more. I mean after all, you have to dress for the job you want, right? Isn't this really just a classic case of Pretty Woman?

Hear me out. Richard Gere needed a classy, respectable lady to accompany him on a week's worth of events. But, he didn't want the emotional baggage of a real woman. So he hired the hooker with the heart of gold, Julia Roberts to be his "beck-and-call girl." Isn't John McCain doing the same thing?

He needed a running mate that was new, exciting and fresh. What he found was Sarah Palin. She was okay, but I think we can all agree that the frosted lipstick and shoulder pads had to go. So, he gave Sarah the charge card and told her to buy some clothes. "Where do I go for the clothes; good stuff, on him?" Neimans, baby!!

So, she needed clothes to be seen at good places. The opera, polo matches, Joe the Plumbers house. Things like that. He dressed her up, made her a lady and besides, the clothes were appropriate. The next thing you know, John McCain is going to flip closed that velvet box on Sarah's fingers. You know, the box holding that Flag Pin she is so fond of. I can almost hear her cackle-like laughter now.

When you buy and pay for your running mate, she's bound to need something more besides that Lycra dress you picked her up in. So, let's put this whole thing into perspective. Dressing like a well paid hooker takes lots of cash. Especially when you are trying to convince people you're just like them. Political hookers are no different. This pig needed a lot of lipstick.

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Stimulate Me


Sometimes, I feel responsible for this whole economic crisis. After all, it was Greazy and I who spent our "stimulus" money in Australia, instead of here at home. Is that wrong? But, now I hear they want to do it all again. Give us more money.

I'd like to say I'll spend all that cash here, but then I read this. Turns out, the Aussie dollar is back in the crapper, and the exchange rate is quickly plummeting. Which means, if I take that new "stimulus" money over there, it would go a lot further this time.

What is a girl to do? 60 cents on the dollar is really too good to pass up. And, let's face it. We're going to hell here anyway, don't we deserve another vacation?

Thursday, October 09, 2008

Bits and Pieces

*Love this article about the latest rash of ladies loving ladies.

*I just don't like Sarah Silverman. There I've said it, and I feel better.

*MMA is gay. And, now it might be fixed. Who the hell cares?

*Sarah Palin, if you're so fucking real, then why is it a problem to show your "real" face on the cover of Newsweek. Get over it, you're not as hot as conservative men say you are.

*Hugh Hefner is getting over his break-up with his girl Holly, by dating twins. Ewwww. Yuck.

*How am I supposed to go on when Taylor Swift and Joe Jonas have broken up.