"This Here Was My Idea" Top 5

Since Greazy and I leave very soon for the land Down Under, we both decided (though it was my idea) to have an all Aussie Top 5. So, in response to this list, made by Greazy, I have prepared my Top 5. I based my decisions on many things. Proximity, chance of meeting, and of course, hotness. All 5 of these guys will be in within shagging distance during the trip, and all would be crazy not to take me up on my offer.

1) Jimmy Bartel - Geelong Cats (AFL) player. Greazy and I will be seeing the Cats play in Melbourne. So, you know, he'll be around.

2) Ben Ross - Cronulla Sharks (NRL) player. I'm speechless, really. Speechless.

3) Brodie Holland - Collingwood Magpies (AFL) player. Geelong plays Collingwood in the game Greazy and I will be seeing. Good news.

4) John Williams - Queensland Cowboys (NRL) player. Don't know anything about him, don't care. Look at him. They will be playing in Sydney while we are there.

5) Luke O'Donnell - Queensland Cowboys (NRL) player. MY dear GOD!! He will also be in Sydney.

So, there they are. Any one of them would be an excellent choice for me. Maybe I'll get them all. Three weeks is a long time.

Enough Already!

Well, our journalistic integrity is alive and well. Too bad it is focusing all of its steely gaze at reality TV. In yet another stupid incident, it was "revealed" that the Deadliest Catch may have made things look a little more deadly than they were.

Again, I am going to ask the question, WHO CARES?? These guys are really up there, catching crab so you assholes can have your jumbo crab legs. Do we really need it to be "more real?" Is it an actual death scene you want?

But, my real question is, where is this desire for the truth from shows like The Hills, The Real World, Survivor, or any of the other reality crap that is out there? Why do you have to bring down shows people actually like? Or better yet, why don't you take those investigation skills and go to Washington and put them to good use. God knows, the real reporters aren't cutting it anymore.

Leave our TV alone. It's bad enough Hollywood only puts on reality shows. Then, it has to tell us all how real they aren't. Make up your fucking mind.

Wasted Time

I have spent eons of my life trying to be cool. If I could add it all up, it would probably be years. I'm not sure exactly when it started, but I'm pretty sure I was too young to know what cool really was. I thought my older brother and sister's friends were so cool. I was desperate to fit in, desperate to be older, cooler. Just like them. It wasn't until much later that I realized they weren't really that cool either.

But, by then I had moved on to the next thing. I rode the trends, followed the crowd, even though I was desperate to "stand out." I wanted to be that cool girl with the right outfit, the right look, the right attitude. But, I always felt like I fell just short of the mark. I would have the wrong shoes, or the right shirt in the wrong color. I never quite pulled it off, never make anyone believe that I was cool, different or hip. I wanted to be different, just like everybody else. The kind of cool that only "non-conformist" conformity could give you. I hung around the fringes of "cool" groups, but never really got inside. At least, I never thought so.

I was just so desperate to hear someone say that I was cool. If anyone did, I never heard about it. Which means, to me, it never happened. I still have moments when I feel like this, even though I am way too old to be concerned with this stuff anymore. I'm over the hill, on the downtrend. Being cool left the station a long time ago. It would have been nice to feel it, just for a little while. Even if I would leave the house and feel cool, there would always be someone else at the show, at the mall, at school, who made me feel so uncool. And, the fact that I can still be made to feel this way drives me nuts.

But, after spending some time recently with people just like I used to be, young people desperate to be cool, I can see how futile it all is. They try so hard, they preen, they pose. I see myself in them almost to a scary degree. Their whole lives are wrapped up in it, just like mine was. I want to pull them aside and tell them to save their breath, their money and their time. You will never be as cool as you want to be. There will always be someone cooler than you. There will be music you will never know about, culture you will never know about, and some day you too will feel old to be a part of anything anymore.

So, in my quest to be cool, I've come to one realization. I am. But, not because anyone else thinks so. But, because I think so. Fuck what the world thinks. The only way to truly be cool is to just be yourself. Whatever that may be. Trying to be something you're not is not cool. See, that was my problem all along. I'm a dork. And, while I may like some cool things, that is not why I am cool. I'm cool because there is no one else I would rather be.

Hobbies, People

If only these people would use their time and energy for something that mattered, like voting, or cleaning up the environment. But, no. Let's try and keep a television show on the air.

You're right, that is much more important.