War Torn

I sat and watched Baghdad ER tonight, and I cried. I saw this huge, young Marine get operated on, after taking shrapnel to the chest from an IED. He wouldn't stop bleeding, and it became clear that he was going to die soon. The chaplain leaned down and said to him that they wanted him to fight. But, if he couldn't fight anymore, it was okay to let go. And, he died. While it was happening, this group of doctors and nurses prayed over his body. Then he was gone.

The soldier didn't know this chaplain, but at least he had someone there, telling him it was okay, and that he wasn't alone. How many soldiers over there have had to die all alone, blown up on the side of some sand road? If you have ever had to tell someone you love, lying in a bed dying, that it was okay to let go, you know it is the hardest thing you will ever have to do. And, this chaplain had to do it way too much I'm sure. He may not know these young soldiers, but you could see how much he cared for all of them.

When will all of this stop? When is it ever going to be enough?

Anakin = Vadar

Okay, it's official. I am now a member of the dark side. I'm on myspace.com. I know, I swore I would never, but alas, here I am. So, fine all you people who have been bugging me since god know's when: I'm here, I'm lacking in friends, what are you going to do about it?

Unrelated Events

Just a few things to let everyone know I am still alive.

*Being kind of new to this whole 9/11 conspiracy thing, I was shocked when I watched this movie about the theories surrounding the events. Whether you believe it or not . . . fascinating as hell. (PS If I go missing, I'm at Gitmo)

*Just got the book from the Harvard girl, I'll let you know how it is.

*Trying to decide if I want to bag the idea of the 30th birthday party, and just go to Vegas. Opinions?

*Got someone in trouble at work today, felt good. Am I horrible?

*Add Margaret Cho to the ongoing and never-ending list of concerts for me. July 6th.

I'll write more when there is more to say.

The Cribs: The New Fellas

There is nothing worse on earth than going to see a concert and having to sit through a shitty opening act. Most of the time, I skip the opening act entirely, if their reputation precedes them. But, on my recent pilgrimage to see Franz Ferdinand and Death Cab for Cutie with my cousin, the Cribs were the opening band. Not knowing a thing about them, and with no where else to go, we decided to listen. I'm glad we did. These Brits, in keeping with the tradition of acts like Babyshambles and the Libertines, rocked.

The threesome from Wakefield, England, kicked through song after song of snotty, energetic pop. So, I decided to go out and buy the record. While lacking a little energy of the live show, I have to say the record did not disappoint. Tracks like "Hey Scenesters!" and "Mirror Kisses" showcase the band's pop-punk energy and swagger best. Top to bottom, I have to say that the Cribs certainly know how to get your head bobbing. So, go put on your tightest pants, your most ironic Girl Scout t-shirt, your horn-rimmed glasses and listen to the Cribs rock like only nerdy Brit boys can. You won't be sorry.

Hits Just Keep on Coming . . .

* Two more shows added to the schedule *
Missy Higgins on June 8th at the Canal Room in NYC
Cat Power on June 10th at the Town Hall in NYC

#44

I have been absent from my blog lately. Mostly due to the fact that I have been completely uninspired. I haven't been feeling strongly about anything, at least not anything good, and I find I dwell too much on the bad shit as it is. So, why write about the bad, when I can't even think of anything funny to say about it.

I am attributing this feeling to the fact that I am thinking back to a year ago. When I was climbing bridges, swimming with the fish, holding wild animals in my arms and driving on the wrong side of the road. This time last year, we were in Australia, and having the time of our lives. On this day, last year, we were getting ready to spend our second-last day in Sydney. I'll never forget turning a corner and seeing one of the most famous buildings, the Sydney Opera House, for the first time. We shopped for records, and probably walked 15+ miles in one day. Then, we jetted to Cairns, and dove on the Great Barrier Reef, held a koala at the Kuranda Animal Sanctuary, and cruised the harbor by the light of a million new stars. Then, we finished in Melbourne, quite possibly the coolest city ever. We drove the Great Ocean Road, cruised the Queen Victoria Markets and ate delicious muffins in a garden sanctuary in the middle of the city.

This year, I am here. There is no awe-inspiring view from my window. No wild adventures waiting when I wake up, no jet lagged laughing sessions in the middle of the night. Just work, home, and waking up to more of the same. So, sorry for the lack of posts. I'll be back to (relatively) normal soon. Until then, I'm ten thousand miles away.

Too Much Edgy

Friday night. At home. Nothing to do. You flip through the channels on the television, hoping to find something that will at least pass the time. Well, I hit paydirt this past friday. It was the Miss USA pageant, live from Baltimore, Maryland. Hosted by Nancy O'Dell and the hottest Lachey left, Drew.

Miss USA is kind of the less attractive, less intelligent version of the Miss America pageant. This one is owned by one Donald Trump. So you know it's extra classy. Having missed the very beginning of the pageant, we had to pick it up during the swimsuit portion of the show. In Miss USA, all the ladies wear the same bikini. Gold, with sparkles. More noticeable, is their apparent leniency towards going under the knife. There were most definitely some surgically enhanced breasts there, and most likely some noses too.

And, let's not forget the celebrity judges. This crop was impressive to say the least. Hines Ward of the Superbowl champ Steelers, Jillian Barberie, Olympic champ Chad Hedrick and of course, Donald Trump Jr. They were the ones who got to ask the hard hitting, all important final question of the 5 finalists, Kentucky, California, Ohio, Florida, and Georgia. Miss California and Miss Ohio actually did a fine job. But the other three, oh dear lord.

First was Georgia, who informed Hines Ward that what men could learn from women was that they are "strong" because she wore high heels everyday for 3 weeks straight. Miss Florida informed us that society is too PC in the "Department of Religion" and basically managed to befuddle the Donald Jr. And, our winner, Miss Kentucky. Well, she is responsible for the title of this post. She was asked about pop stars and whether they were role models. She said that they were mostly, "Too much edgy" for young girls to look up to. And, thus, cemented her place at the head of the pack. She lists her ability to communicate with anyone as her strongest asset. I hope the ability to notice irony will soon replace that one. But, maybe I am being mean to our Miss Kentucky. To be fair, she did have a nice rack, and I'm sure all that money and make up will come in handy with her future plans of being really pretty and not very smart.

Oh, did I mention that she likes to scrapbook?

Angry Inky's Day Off

Last week, I played hooky from work. I don't often do this, usually if I'm taking off work, clearly it's for a live music performance. But, I woke up that morning and thought "How can I possibly be expected to face work on a day like this." And, what better way to honor the 20th (can you fucking believe that?) anniversary of the classic Ferris Bueller's Day Off then with a day off of my own. After calling in with some lame-ass excuse, I was free. So, of course the first thing I did was go back to bed for like 3 more hours. Then, I got up and got to spend the day with my hubby, went for a drive, had lunch, dodged the afore-mentioned religious tactical team, and basically just had a great, fun day while the others toiled and scraped.

There is a lot to be said for the mental health day, and especially now that the weather is great, I encourage you all to do the same. Go ahead, steal the 1961 Ferrari 250 GT California, go to the city, have lunch at the "snooty. . .snotty" restaurant, and then race home so you don't get busted. Whatever you choose, enjoy it. Remember, life is short, but work is long.

SAVE FERRIS!!

Baby, Baby, It's a Wild World

I couldn't resist doing a post to welcome little Cameron into the world. Jesse and Hayley, Congratulations. He is adorable!
You're going to make me catch the baby rabies.

He Has Risen!

For the last several days, we've had stalkers in our neighborhood. We have tried hiding from them, we have tried outrunning them, but they seem to find us anyway. You know them, you've seen them. The door-to-door religion salesmen that come to everyone's home eventually. For whatever reason, be it the weather or the season, they are out in force around our house. We have literally ran to our car, in an effort to get out of town before they could shove their literature into our hands. We have returned home only to be confronted with them, knocking on the door of an unsuspecting neighbor, turning as soon as they hear our car doors close.

I'm not sure I really understand what these people are hoping to accomplish. Like coming to me during my leisure hours will convince me to convert to your way of thinking. Or that I just haven't heard about Jesus yet, and maybe if you give me a pithy pamphlet, I'll finally know what all the fuss has been about all these years. Whatever the motivation, let me assure you that no matter what may happen to me, I'm not going to come to a religious epiphany with you on my doorstep, or because you tell me to. It is just not how I operate.

But, thank you, dear proselytizer. Without your appearance, I wouldn't get much needed laughs thinking of ways to make you uncomfortable. So, cheers. And, hey, by the way. . .would you be interested in learning all about Satan?

Geek Squad Must Die!!

We've been having some computer woes. We thought that getting some new virus and spyware stuff would fix it. But, it didn't. We saw a commercial for those Geek Squad guys at Best Buy, and we thought it was something we should look into, as we were coming to the end of our ropes. We took it down, they said they could install the new hooey and that everything else looked fine. Turns out not so much. We were told by them that something else was wrong and they wanted $59 and A WEEK to find it. Not even to fix it, just to find it. So, we told them no thanks and went down to pick it up. At this point, I was very angry and stressed out. So, when we go down to get it, the Geek starts getting our stuff together. Then, he tells us we have to buy the software anyway, even though he couldn't install it, because they opened the package. I was so pissed off I could barely see straight. Then, the guy says, "You seem a little stressed, is there something I can do for you?" In this really snotty voice. I almost jumped over the counter and beat this little snot-nosed punk to death. But, cooler heads (my husbands) prevailed. When I tell him they coulddn't help me, obviously, he said, "Well, we offered to run the diagonstic but you said no" I was ready to beat him again. Who the hell is this guy to patronize me when not only am I having to pay for shit I can't use, but then he can't even fix the damn thing. So, he is lucky to still be alive right now.

SO, to all my readers and anyone else out there. DON'T TAKE YOUR COMPUTERS TO THE GEEK SQUAD AT BEST BUY!!! They are clueless, mean and overpriced. Luckily, our friend Jon, has a brother-in-law who can fix computers. It took him one hour and he didn't even need to do that much to it. So, Ricky, you are the man. Geek Squad, you best recognize that when you can't even figure out what is going on with a computer, you best not talk shit!!

Can We All Agree?

Can we all agree that:

*Air marshals who are meant to protect us and America should not be taking bribes and smuggling blow.

*People who work for Homeland Security should not be soliciting sex online from someone he thinks is 14.

*Now apparently singing along with a classic Clash tune is grounds for arrest. If this is where we are in the war on terror, we are all screwed.

*I know more than a few people who should look into this unusual online auction item.


Sometimes the world of the news is more strange than the soaps. Tonight is Dinosaur Jr. Can't wait. Will have more to say about that later.

For the Last Time

I had to wear the Puffy Paint shirt for the last time today. Thank God.

A Little Bit of Everything

So, I just wanted to throw some random stuff out there.

*Love Monkey has been picked up by VH1. No new episodes have been ordered, but the remaining shows that were shot, but never aired on CBS are starting April 18th at 9:00pm.

*If you are into the indie rock, and like quizzes, take this one. I am Bikini Kill, don't you know.

*Check out Anthony's perspective on the Britney Spear's statue.

*I've added another concert to my list. My cousin and I will be seeing Nine Inch Nails in Camden, NJ in June.

*Should I see Ween? Post and let me know what you think.

*I have to wear a puffy-painted shirt to work tomorrow. It is a new low in my hellish world.

Well, that does it for now. More to come . . .

Jazmin, She's no Princess

I'm sure you've all heard of the show "My Super Sweet Sixteen" on MTV. If not, well, consider yourself informed. I've seen it several times, and I've watched it the same way you watch a car wreck. But, a particular episode caught my eye recently. It was the story of Jazmin and her rags to riches life. She was a foster child and she was adopted by a super rich couple in Erie, PA. And, in one short year, she went from poor girl in the slums to the most superficial, mean and spoiled girl I think I have ever seen on that show. And that is saying a lot.

Jazmin flies off to NY for a little dress shopping, in the family private plane, but turns bitchy when her "friend" Brittany tries on dresses too. Then, when casting lifeguards for her beach themed party, Brittany invites guys over that Jazmin just doesn't like. So, after shopping for a sports car with her, Brittany is told that she is no longer a "VIP" (one of Jazmin's other friends had to ask what it meant) and can't ride to the party in the limo. An attempt by Brittany to call Jazmin is met with the VIP's laughing at her and telling her that Jazmin is busy, even though Brittany can hear her voice. My favorite part of the show is when Jazmin is telling the others that Brittany is out of the VIP's. One of them asks why, and another random girl says, "Because she's short, fat and has a big nose." The girl is taller than Jazmin, probably weights 90 pounds and well, I don't remember her nose.

This show is just another example of the tragedy that is the youth of today. This girl came from nothing, and forgot about decency and kindness as soon as she was shown the benjamins. The one highlight of the show was watching the vapid little frog-face fail her permit test. As a PA resident, I can tell you, it's about the easiest thing in the world.

But, don't worry Jazmin, that $50,000 BMW more than makes up for the fact that you have no soul. When you crash it, I'm sure you breast-implant-having mom and you face-lift having dad will just buy you a new one.

*New episodes of the madness return to MTV on April 12th.

Couldn't Have Said it Better

"It is against stupidity, in every shape and form, that we have to wage our eternal battle."

-William Booth

How The Light Gets In

I picked up this book on a whim on Saturday night, and I am already finished with it. I actually finished it Monday. It is always great when a book is that good that I just want to keep reading and reading until I finish it.

How The Light Gets In, by M.J. Hyland, is a story of Louise (Lou for short), a Sydneysider who enters an exchange program to the US, to get the hell out of her crappy flat and crappy life. She is a genius, (who just happens to be poor) and feels unloved and alone in her family. So, she arrives in America, in the Chicago suburbs, hoping for a new life and to find a way to stay away from her old one. She has every good intention of being everything her host family, The Hardings, want her to be. But, it doesn't really work out that way. She finds herself struggling to fit into their perfect, suburban life that is so foreign from her own, and starts failing miserably.

There are no upbeat emotional breakthroughs, family togetherness or happy endings. But, there is a real, well written story of broken expectation, both of ourselves and others. I find it hard to believe that this is only Hyland's first novel. It's truly a departure from the usual fodder that features a female main character. So, check out How The Light Gets In for a truly original and amazingly poignant story.

Morrissey: Ringleader of the Tormentors

I know the album doesn't come out until next week, but I have been listening to it constantly over the last several days on his page on myspace.com. And, I can say without reservation, that it is absolutely amazing. Ringleader of the Tormentors (great title, by the way) was recorded in Rome, where Morrissey is still residing. And, while he may still be melancholy, this album rocks like I haven't heard since Your Arsenal came out. But, perhaps most shocking of all, we get a little bit of overt sexuality from the cagey(is he gay or asexual?) singer.

Tracks like the first single, You Have Killed Me, are as classic a Morrissey track as you will ever find. But, it is the song, Dear God Please Help Me, that has all the critics and people talking. With the lines "there are explosive kegs/between my legs", "I am spreading your legs/with mine in between " and "he motions to me/with his hand on my knee", the song of longing and lust seems to have everyone in a tizz. So, take it seriously or not, it definitely helps set the tone for the soaring and, at times, upbeat record. The 7 minute mini-epic Life is a Pigsty divides the record and takes the listener on a twisting journey. Overall, there are really no let downs on this record, and may be one of his strongest in years.

So, come April 4th, I will be picking up the new Morrissey, and be praying that he will come to my town soon, to grace us with his shirt-tossing stage theatrics. Until then, I will just have to settle for listening to the CD. . . wearing all black. . . with the lights off. . . in the rain. . .

Daydream Believer

Sometimes in life, we lose things. An item that was once so dear to us, suddenly vanishes. It could be because of a move, a bout of house cleaning or a desire to "simplify." But, sometimes, you want the item back and you become obsessed with finding it. For times like these, I thank my lucky stars that eBay exists.

It has brought great things back into my life, like a My Little Pony that I once owned and lost. Or the villainous Sour Grapes from Strawberry Shortcake. My sister managed to find both of these for me on eBay and brought them back to me again. It was so great.

Since then, I have used eBay for many things, but my quest for two items in particular has been a true eBay adventure. The first item was a black Swatch that I purchased in Switzerland when I was 16 years old. It had black hands and numbers on a black face and it was the coolest. Somewhere along the way, I lost this watch, and was devastated. My honey bought me a cool Swatch as a replacement, but it just wasn't the same. Several attempts to find the watch on eBay were fruitless, and I lost a bid for one I thought was it. But, I finally found THE watch and it was the best possible scenario. A "Buy it Now" in my price range. So, I snapped it up, PayPal'd it and it should be here soon. I am elated to have the watch I loved so back in my life. I just won't be able to know the time at the movies.

But, the quest that has eluded me so far, is the search for my beloved Prairie Flower. She was a dusty-pink, banana-seat bike and I loved her. She came with a brown basket and a bell, and I thought I was the shit on this bike. For some reason the bike was sold, or given away to some cousin's cousin. No one is quite sure what happen to her, but she is gone. And, I want her back. I don't have any really great pictures of me on the bike, but someday, I will have her again. Someday, I will type the words into eBay, and there she will be. And, I don't care what it takes, I will have her home again.

Some one out there has a Prairie Flower, and will someday want to clean out the garage or the shed and think, "How about I sell it on eBay?" I will be waiting patiently for that day. Until then, I will dream of riding down the road on my own Prairie Flower, wind in my hair, my bell ringing in my ears. I miss you, girl.

Office Space

If you have never seen this movie, I don't want to know you. Any person who has ever had a job needs to see this movie. It was on television this weekend, and of course I watched it yet again.

I think the reason that this movie speaks to so many people, is that every character in it reminds you of someone from your real life. We all have the "weird phone answer lady" and middle management overbearing type who just won't shut up. And, the situations are true to life. Who hasn't wanted to sidestep and walk by the boss when you know a lecture is coming? Who hasn't wanted to set the building on fire when they take away your kick-ass red stapler?

But, the king of them all is the boss himself, Bill Lumbergh. The clueless, Porche driving asshole that makes everyone's life a living hell. The fact that one of my bosses actually drove a blue Porche just made it all the better for me. The funny part about it, is that even bosses love this movie, because they are deluded enough to think that they are not like that. But, the sad truth is that even the best boss has had Lumbergh moments. They can't help it. Once you get into that position, it just happens. So, be forewarned. Anyone who doesn't think this movie is funny is evil. And, I know a few.

So, if you hate your job, even a little, watch this movie. You'll be glad you did.

*For those of you waiters out there, check out Waiting. Kind of the same thing, only in a restaurant.