What's My Age Again?

This woman I work with made a comment today that I don't seem like someone who is almost 30 years old. She said I seem like I should be younger. See, I'm 29, but am often mistaken for someone much younger. Not that this is a problem. I was blessed with good genes, and look maybe 24 or 25. But, the real issue is about this notion of adulthood, and not really being one. I'm not sure I really even know what it means to be an adult, but the book on me is, that I don't really seem like a person who owns a home, has been married for 6 and 1/2 years and is going to be thirty this year.

I am the youngest in my family and have grappled with the feelings of being too young, never being old enough to do anything cool and always being left out. But, as an adult, I thought all that would go away. But, on some level, it hasn't. I still feel like a little kid a lot of the time. That is probably a lot of my own crap, but I have to admit, I don't feel like a grown up. I abhor most of the connotations that come with it. I never really wanted a real job, I hate "work clothes" or slacks and I still stay up way too late, in spite of the fact that I have to get up early. When the chips are down, I identify more with younger people that I do with people "my age." I quote movies and television, I am very selfish, I like tattoos and piercings, I own too many CD's and I always put myself and my needs first. And, I don't want to stop doing any of it. I don't really want to become an "adult". Not that I begrudge anyone their life, but it's just not for me.

So, what does it mean to be an adult? Is it all mini-vans and early to bed? Or can it be doing dumb, "kid" things forever? I don't know, but maybe someday I'll figure it out.