Football Fantasy

Much has been made of the Peyton Manning/Tom Brady rivalry in football. So many articles have been written, so many shows dedicated to figuring it all out. Who is the better quarterback? Who will have the greater legacy upon retirement? Does the postseason play of Tom Brady trump the regular season play of Peyton Manning, when it comes to the definition of success? Who knows, and more importantly who cares? I wouldn't kick either of them out of bed for eating crackers, but the real question to me is: Who is hotter? Let's break it down shall we?

LOOKS: Now, some may say Brady is the more handsome QB, but I don't necessarily agree. Sure, chin dimples and model girlfriends are nice, but they are not everything. Peyton may not be man-model hot, but he is still really cute. Besides, sometimes a guy can be too pretty.
EDGE: Brady

STATS: And, I'm not talking football stats here, ladies. Peyton enjoys the slight height and weight advantage over Tom, and is one year older. But, let's face it, in those pants, we can all see what really matters. The butt. And, while both are of the quarter-bouncing variety, Peyton's seems a little better. Plus, he rocks the whole hot bod in that Gatorade commercial. (I still say the shirt was unnecessary)
EDGE: Manning

PERSONALITY/BRAINS: Some would argue that this category is unimportant. And, they may be right. But, I include it anyway, because I like a guy who can talk. Peyton got a bachelors degree in 3 years, has a Master's and was Phi Beta Kappa at Tennessee. Brady went to Michigan. As far as personality goes, I don't know either one of them, so I can only go by what I see on television. And, quite simply, Peyton is way funnier in his commercials than Brady is in his. EDGE: Manning

MARITAL STATUS: This one is pretty straight forward. Brady is single, Manning is not. Are you into available guys, or do you like to torture yourself lusting after those who are already taken. I like both, but let's face it, if there is even the slightest, teeny tiny chance of it happening, it makes it that much better.
EDGE: Brady

THE BACON: Now some may argue that a millionaire is a millionaire, and after a certain point, it doesn't matter anymore. Right, sure, okay. The guy who said that was probably not the highest paid player in NFL history. EDGE: Manning

INTANGIBLES: In sports, much is made of having "it." Whatever it is. Well, for me this one is also simple. It's really all a matter of personal taste. After all, this is my blog, and none of this means anything.
EDGE: Manning

So there you have it. Clearly Peyton is hotter. Sorry Tom, I guess you'll have to comfort yourself with your supermodels and stacks of cash. Hopefully, you'll muddle through. As for you, Peyton. Call me. There is always room on the Top 5 list.