I Don't Want to Get Off on a Rant Here . . .

Dennis Miller, what the hell happened to you? Every time I turn on my television, there you are, another right wing talking head with an "attitude." You are on Hannity and O'Reilly. You appear on Leno and spew your new found George Bush ass-kissing style. Sure, you still throw in your famously obscure references, but it's just not the same. Every other time I see you, you are going on and on about "kicking ass and taking hyphenated names." Nice. It just breaks my heart, a little more each time.

See, Dennis, I used to love you. I mean, really love you. I watched you when you had your short lived talk show. I watched your HBO show religiously, and took the fact that you used a Henry Rollins song in your show as a sign of our kinship. I would laugh at your rants, and shake my head in agreement. You pulled no punches, and even if I didn't agree with you, the artful way you said things made me laugh anyway. You spoke to me, and for me, as I do not have a television show. You were funny, wry and witty. Whether you were cutting down a guest, or truly getting what they were saying, they always got a fair shake. I even went to see you do a live performance, sick with a head cold, and got berated by some joyless yuppie and his wife for interrupting their non-laughter with coughing. All for you, babe.

And, now, you've turned on me, Dennis. I know the events of September 11 were impossible to deal with, and we all came out changed. But, you changed into a douche bag. Truly. I know as we age, our opinions change. We become parents, recognize our own mortality, and start worrying about taxes, retirement, and growing old. A lot of people grow more conservative with age, I get that. But, you my friend are off the deep end. When you spend your free time sucking up to O'Reilly and praising his ability to debate the pros and cons of Rosie O'Donnell, you have lost the plot, big time.

What worries me most, is that I think you are a sell out. I can't tell if you really believe your diatribes or not. But I do know this. The liberal entertainment world wasn't buying the new, conservative tinged you. So, you went to the next logical step. Turning tail, and joining the dark side. There is more room at the crazy table on the right side of the room. And, the money is better. So, congrats. You may have more money now, but you will never be great like you were. You have lost me forever. No longer will I be able to say things like, "I've got a life to lead cha cha" and not feel dirty. All I can do now is listen to the Off White Album, and mourn the loss of my Dennis. While the new one is no doubt playing golf with Karl Rove.

POST SCRIPT: I think it the height of irony, when the word that comes up as the alternative for Hannity in spell-checker, is sanity.