Tour of Duty: Day 1

So, I reported for jury duty today, bright and early. Me and 299 of my unlucky cohorts sat in a room, while they took attendance, explained the rules and made us watch a film. Then, the real fun began, as we began to wait around for the "panelling" to begin. This is where they take a group of you, in our case 30, to be a part of Voir Dire. That is where the lawyers ask you questions, and pick you based on your answers.

I was the first one picked for the second panel. We were lined up, walked up to an elevator. We all got in, except one poor woman that they told to get out, because there was too much weight. They just left her there, not telling her where to go. It was priceless. (Coincidentally, I later had lunch with her.) We were taken to the 10th floor to the courtroom. We waited again until everyone from the group made it from the elevator, including our wayward passenger.

We walked past the sheriff's deputy, and then again waited in our lines. It was all very serious. We walked to the courtroom door, and waited again. It was at this point that I was overwhelmed by the urge to laugh. Then, when the pushed open the doors, and there in front of me was the guy in the black robe, the lawyers, the defendant, and oh of course, the high school field trip, I really needed to laugh. It felt like trying not to laugh in church. I liken it to my uncontrollable urge to say "Ready with the bombs, buddy" whenever I get on a plane. I know you can't do it, so I really want to.

So, they asked us some questions, to see if we could be "fair and impartial." That is a total crock in my opinion. There isn't a person on this planet who can be fair and impartial. Everyone has their biases and prejudices. And, let me just tell you, when you are at jury duty, and you see the defendant grab a paper cup off the table, and proceed to pee into it, it's hard to imagine him not doing other inappropriate things in life. If I could have taken a picture of the defense attorney's face, it would be on this post right now. I am not kidding, this really happened.

I honestly don't know how anyone can put all of themselves aside to decide someone else's fate. And, for now I don't have to. I wasn't selected for the jury. But, I'm stuck there for another three days at least, until all the juries are filled. So, keep your fingers crossed that I get through this without having to actually sit on a jury. But, at the very least, I'll get some good stories out of it.