Sunday, April 23, 2006

Too Much Edgy


Friday night. At home. Nothing to do. You flip through the channels on the television, hoping to find something that will at least pass the time. Well, I hit paydirt this past friday. It was the Miss USA pageant, live from Baltimore, Maryland. Hosted by Nancy O'Dell and the hottest Lachey left, Drew.

Miss USA is kind of the less attractive, less intelligent version of the Miss America pageant. This one is owned by one Donald Trump. So you know it's extra classy. Having missed the very beginning of the pageant, we had to pick it up during the swimsuit portion of the show. In Miss USA, all the ladies wear the same bikini. Gold, with sparkles. More noticeable, is their apparent leniency towards going under the knife. There were most definitely some surgically enhanced breasts there, and most likely some noses too.

And, let's not forget the celebrity judges. This crop was impressive to say the least. Hines Ward of the Superbowl champ Steelers, Jillian Barberie, Olympic champ Chad Hedrick and of course, Donald Trump Jr. They were the ones who got to ask the hard hitting, all important final question of the 5 finalists, Kentucky, California, Ohio, Florida, and Georgia. Miss California and Miss Ohio actually did a fine job. But the other three, oh dear lord.

First was Georgia, who informed Hines Ward that what men could learn from women was that they are "strong" because she wore high heels everyday for 3 weeks straight. Miss Florida informed us that society is too PC in the "Department of Religion" and basically managed to befuddle the Donald Jr. And, our winner, Miss Kentucky. Well, she is responsible for the title of this post. She was asked about pop stars and whether they were role models. She said that they were mostly, "Too much edgy" for young girls to look up to. And, thus, cemented her place at the head of the pack. She lists her ability to communicate with anyone as her strongest asset. I hope the ability to notice irony will soon replace that one. But, maybe I am being mean to our Miss Kentucky. To be fair, she did have a nice rack, and I'm sure all that money and make up will come in handy with her future plans of being really pretty and not very smart.

Oh, did I mention that she likes to scrapbook?

2 comments:

Greazy Tony said...

Nothing worse than a fake rack on a dumb girl. Nicole from Uncle Lary's place: I am looking at you.

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